Art Rocks
17497
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Art Rocks

set of semiprecious gemstones with expressive eye holes drilled out

Arthur Simon’s art rocks are anthropomorphic minimalism meets lowbrow gag gift. Instead of adding googly eyes, fake hair or glitter, these repurposed chunks of the Central Texas landscape are reductive–excavated with diamond coated high speed drills. Each stone is plucked from geological obscurity to coax out its unique personality. Use them as a luckstone, worry stone, pocket pet, paperweight, stocking stuffer, aquarium decoration, office buddy or shelf art.

There’s also this TikTok channel! I’m expanding my cast of characters and angles.

Edith is good at keeping secrets.
Deacon the pet rock is always carrying around a nice set of tools.
Sandra comes from Old Money, but her family fell on hard times in the early 1990’s.
Berlioz the Pet Rock
Berlioz went to a music conservatory but their heart just wasn’t in it.
Bridget has been spending lots of time doing laundry.
family of five limestone minimalist rock figurines
This is the tiniest little pet rock! It’s also a shark, look out!
Charlie loves Scandinavian folk music.
Beetsy was once in a car commercial as a background rock.
Stuart the Pet Rock
Stuart just can’t even.
Waldorf has taken a vow of celibacy, we have no reason not to believe them.
Kelly keeps to herself but has ten pen pals.
Marlon the Aquarium Rock
Marlon is an older rock who is losing his memory. Please help him remember he was once a great actor.
Pet Rock Family of Three
Sometimes two rocks really hit it off and start their own family, let’s find these three a forever home.
chunk of junk rock with drilled out eyes and a penetrating stare
Have you ever used the figure of speech ‘I’d give my right but…’ well here’s your chance this pet rock is named Nut.
Trio of rocks with drilled out eyes and seams for expressive mouths
These three pet rocks met while in an ice cream store called ‘SerenDIPity.’ Yeah, that’s the one by the hardware store that closed.
Blaise the Pet Rock
Blaise is red jasper from the Pacific Northwest, he got to Texas hitchhiking
Sterno the Pet Rock
Sterno loves camping on public land, it’s not like they’re doing anything wrong.
Erskine the Pet Rock
Erskine has the wildest hairdo! How much product is anyone’s guess.
Dwight the Pet Rock
Dwight is the rock that always parks illegally.
Wabbit the Pet Rock
Wabbit is a wise-cracker and general freeloader, if we’re being completely honest.
Carl Lee the Pet Rock
Carl Lee calls his music rockabilly but it’s got a beat so good it doesn’t matter
Pod the Pet Rock
Podd is an old school R&B fan. He also has a fossil in his forehead, we think it’s a cephalopod.
Sweetheart Pair of Pet Rocks
These two lovebirds are actually rocks.
Jim the Pet Rock
Jim makes excellent omelettes.
Ernie the Pet Rock
Ernie says he’s good at lucid dreaming but lots of us aren’t too sure.
Felicia the Pet Rock
Felicia is putting away money for horse riding lessons.
Chicago Joe the Pet Rock
This guy is very quiet, the only time he gets chatty is when watching WGN, so we all assume he’s from Chicago.
Pet Rocks that Rock by Simonearth
Haley the Pet Rock
Haley is the best dancer!
Tripp the Pet Rock
Dan had Dan Junior who had Dan the Third, ie Tripp, or Triple.
Pet Rock Bonded Duo
The two of these rocks became fast friends like long lost siblings, we believe they should stay together.
Christo the Pet Rock
Christo is a wrapper.
Pet Rocks
Arthur’s etsy store now features Pet Rocks in the style of minimalism
Trent the Pet Rock
Trent doesn’t respond to anyone’s social media friend requests.
Jasmine the Pet Rock
Jasmine started an online apparel business that recently got sold to a Japanese investment group at SoftBank. Not sure how much she made, but hot damn!
Eduardo the Pet Rock
Eduardo has dreams of being a competitive cowboy.
Pollard the Pet Rock
“Pollard comes back every morning with makeup smeared all over him, I don’t even ask.”
Neville the Pet Rock
Neville has a large collection of stamps, all handmade.
Nardo the Pet Rock
Nardo can beat you at Madden ’12 with his eyes closed.
Morgan the Pet Rock
Morgan has been divorced three times, all by accident.
Mister Gum the Pet Rock
Mister Gum was discovered wandering in downtown Dallas, he’s not sure how he got there.
McDugan the Pet Rock
McDugan knows all the stars in the sky, even when it’s cloudy out.
Maw Maw the Pet Rock
Nobody’s sure whose MawMaw she is, but she’s someone’s MawMaw.
Hillsboro the Pet Rock
Hillsboro is a piece of jasper from Washington state who never learned how to swim.
H. Hilton the Pet Rock
H is a Hilton, but not the one you’re thinking.
Hasslebeck the Pet Rock
Hasslebeck always shows up for meetings with fresh donuts.
Gladstone the Pet Rock
Gladstone has been shooting at the squirrels trying to get at the birdseed.
Gabrielle the Pet Rock
Gabrielle is on the land line phone, all the time.
Figgy the Pet Rock
Figgy has a high shrill voice and looks kind of purple in the light.
Erin the Pet Rock
Erin has some really interesting textures, it comes from having an excellent skin care regimen.
Dr. Grumbles the Pet Rock
Dr. Grumbles is a very small pet rock, he is very old and draws a pension from the state.
Delicate Guy the Pet Rock
Delicate Guy is very fragile, both physically and emotionally. He would prefer a home without children.
Astrid the Pet Rock
Nobody has really asked where Astrid came from, we may have misplaced her papers, hold on…
Jill the Pet Rock
Jill was thinking of joining a convent but could never decide which one.
Harvey the Pet Rock
Harvey is really into Track and Field and Scottish Games. I don’t know if he’s Scottish.